You Thought the Star Wars Holiday Special Was Bad?

If you thought Star Wars Holiday Special was terrible . . . wait until you see this:

Donny and Marie’s Star Wars special!

It has everything: dancing stormtrooper, terrible puns, Red Foxx (complaining that this year planet Sanford “has no sun” — his show Sanford and Son came back in 1980, but it was just called “Sanford”), Kris Kristoferson playing a Han Solo-ish rogue, Darth Vader escaping in the (SPOILER) (What? How? Why? How is it Chewie and Kris Kristopherson have that cardboard box rocket and Darth has . . . well, stick around to the end of the show to see . . .), jokes about the “farce”, jokes about dental hygiene. One forward thinking thing they got right? Luke and Leia are brother and sister!!!

It’s amazing, though, how much thought went into this. It feels like the people who did this knew more about Star War than the people who did the Holiday Special!

But, really, you just need to see it to believe it:

But . . . is it canon?

I have to say, the designs for the female troopers were kind of cool.

I don’t know what this means. I’m sure some sort of spiritual application could be made . . . but truthfully, my brain hurts too much after watching Donnie and Marie to really put that much thought into things.

Chew-bacca-bacca-bacca . . . Chew-bacca-bacca-bacca . . . Chew . . .

~ Ben


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One response to “You Thought the Star Wars Holiday Special Was Bad?”

  1. Allan Reini Avatar

    Ben,
    Random thoughts while viewing this:

    1. I actually remember watching this when it aired. I am old.

    2. I had since deleted it from my memory. Therefore, I am either in your debt or very annoyed with you right now.

    3. Back in ’77 / ’78, with no internet, and no VHS tapes for that matter, we were so starved for anything Star Wars-related, that we (I) would go absolutely NUTS if anyone even mentioned it on television or elsewhere. So, at the time, it was very natural for a high-school sophomore to scream like a girl, “DONNY AND MARIE ARE DOING STAR WARS! DONNY AND MARIE ARE DOING STAR WARS!”

    4. This, of course, also easily explains the Holiday Special.

    5. All that being said, even as an unsophisticated teenage nerd in the 70’s, I remember absolutely cringing when “Darth Vader’s Raiders” came out and started dancing. (I believe that they might have been the other Osmond Brothers in storm trooper gear.) I had not yet grown into the cynical, snarky curmudgeon I am today, but I still had the presence of mind to think, “Wow…this is embarrassing.”

    6. Criticism aside, Donny and Marie could sing and perform pretty well. They put together a 10 minute “Musical” at the end of the show every week.

    7. I did not remember Paul Lynde as Grand Moff Tarkin. That was pretty fun. (I feel myself starting to forgive you for dragging this all back into my brain.)

    8. OK, you’ve got Storm Troopers surrounding your enemy. Everything’s coming up Vader. Then, Chewie growls a little bit. What is the tactical response? Naturally, you give up. Meanwhile, the Troopers act like Elphaba’s soldiers at the end of The Wizard of Oz. “Oh…Okay. Uh…we’re on your side now. Thanks!”

    9. I distinctly remember screaming with rage when Darth escaped in the ”ship.” (no spoilers)

    And finally,
    10. As stated before, in 1977, I was a teenage Sci-Fi-Nerd. So why was I watching Donnie and Marie?

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